My birthday was actually a few days ago, but I like to use my birthday plus or minus a few
days weeks to let that really settle in.
There’s a little bit of a mental stutter I have every year when I unexpectedly have to adjust my age a year when someone asks. This habit has dwindled since about my mid-twenties–since I assume everyone is “my age” and that, as an adult, I’ve started finding tribe members that are at all places in their lives.
In many ways I feel very experienced, and in some ways, like I have no idea what I’m doing. I realize that while I know a lot, at that same time I don’t know much, and I want to keep growing. It comes down to the fact that it’s all relative, right?
It’s endlessly entertaining that people assume I’m getting nervous about getting older. They’ll inevitably ask how old I am when they discover my birthday is coming up. If they’re older than me, the reaction is a consoling “Oh, you’re still so young!”
Dude. I know.
Or if they’re younger than me: “Really? I thought you were younger.” Still a bit consolingly.
Dude. Because sometimes I act like a child.
“Just celebrating what you got to a certain age is worthless. What we should be celebrating is meaningful accomplishments and goals.” Mario Martinez
So instead of celebrating or getting nervous that I’m one year older–which really takes no effort on my part whatsoever–I like to use the time around my birthday to reflect on what the year has brought, and what I want to manifest in the coming year.
The past year has brought immense changes, just like the year before that. I feel like I just ran over a gold star in Mario Kart, where I’m glittering and going fast down Rainbow Road and the exciting music is playing, except that baby isn’t running out anytime soon.
I moved to Boulder, met incredible people, fell in love with people/places/things, ate good food, drank good booze, traveled, and cultivated this weird feeling that I’m onto something good, real, and purposeful. Growth and surrender have been the themes of this year. And that last one is a doozy.
I’m already super pumped about the things that are coming this year: teacher trainings, travel, empowering mamas, Costa Rican moon dances and diving deep into plant medicine and tradition.
I feel so guided, so blessed, so in the flow. I have no idea what any of this all means, but my intention this year is to continue to trust.
Trust my inner wisdom will get me to where I am the most useful, the most fulfilled.
Trust that I am infinitely supported, and all I have to do is relax into it all.
Trust that I am learning what I need to learn, having the experiences I need to have, meeting the right people, and reaching everyone I need to reach.
Trust that it is safe, sweet, and right to fall madly, deeply, unquenchably in love with everything and everyone I possibly can.
Here’s to another amazing year.