5 Ways to Love on your Yoni

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Dude. Yonis are popular. Vaginas are hot right now. People love the kachoo.

Could it be because we, as a culture, know so little about the illusive concha?

Or that we are finally realizing that this energetic gateway–the sacral chakra–is the little door to our intuition and save-the-world kinda power?

Women are compelled to deepen the connection to our bodies through medicinal sensual movement, the rise in popularity of working with stone eggs,  and pure, sweet vajay love.

Bottom line: we crave concha. We wanna be near her, around her, and up-close-and-personal with her.

Your wish is my command.

Now, when I refer to the precious peach, I refer to the whole area: Physical (vagina, vulva, womb) and Energetic (Svadhisthana/Sacral Chakra, lower Dantien). As women, this is our powerhouse. She is the gateway to our past,  the connection between our sensuality, spirituality and sexuality.

Think of a spiderweb laced with dewdrops. Each dewdrop is another woman’s center, and the threads of the web are the energy that connects us. When you tap into this space, you tap into the strength and knowledge of every woman on Earth, your ancestors, and your daughters.

Keeping this space balanced is vital to finding and staying in the flow, in connection with your intuition. Here are few of my favorite ways to begin to connect to your sacred center:

Womb Meditation

I’ve been working some sacral chakra/womb time into my daily meditation practice since the beginning of the year. I begin by placing my hands on my belly, and just bringing some breath and attention into the pelvic bowl. I imagine the place under my hands to be glowing, swirling shades of peach, orange, and pink. Kinda sparkly, totally sexy. Sometimes I visualize a forest path or an ancient secret cave full of secrets, and I just hang out there, waiting to see what images or messages come through.

Do what feels right to you and be creative and playful with it. You can do no wrong: as long as you’re directing your breath to that space, you’re bringing it to life.

Need a little guidance in this department? Check out my Ultra Free Womb Mediation here.

Yoni Steam

FAVORITE. This is a lifesaver in the winter, for my constitution especially, and help me with feeling more grounded, alleviating cramps, and showing a little love to my cupcake.

You can learn all about how-to in my post Your Yoni: Steamed, but here’s my favorite steam tea lately:

  • Mugwort
  • Chamomile
  • Lavender
  • Calendula
  • Passionflower

Mix about a teaspoon of each into your boiling water, cover, and let simmer for about 8-10 minutes.

Select your Accoutrements

There are a few little talismans that have helped me cultivate a deeper connection with my own body. It takes a village, people.

  • My copper IUD
    • Though I’ve recently considered getting it removed to experience the miracle that is a Mayan abdominal massage and further explore my cycle (#shitnewagegirlssay), this was a huge step in getting me off hormonal birth control. This little device helped me get in tune with the rhythms of my cycle while keeping my uterus fetus-free. For that,  I am forever grateful, Paragard.
  • Diva Cup
    • I’ve extolled the virtues of this adorable silicone cup to everyone who will listen. I know it’s not for everyone due to sizing issues and generally have something all up in your business, but it’s changed the way I view my cycle. You can actually see the blood…is that fascinating to anyone else?? It’s eased my cramps, is a godsend for travel & a money/life/environment-saver in general.
  • Yoni Egg
    • Kegels on crack. It’s like your vagina is asleep and this is the double-shot latte to zap you into consciousness. Or hot lemon water. Whatever. Increases your strength, sensation, awareness and all-around juiciness. And who doesn’t want that.
    • I’ve had many hilarious adventures with my yoni egg, including a tableside slip-out whist opening a $100+ bottle of Chardonnay as a server. (It stayed in my pants but made my wine service really interesting.) But it’s really lightened up my attitude about my body and what goes on with it. Oh, we have fun.


There are a couple components to this. One is to go get a regular massage–professional or from talented friend–to get into your body and treat yourself. Another is to get an abdominal massage. This ancient technique has roots in Mayan healing, and it’s all the rage to connect to your center, balance the energy and get all your physical parts in order. Read more about it here.

Another component: self-pleasure. Gently, without a goal in mind, and for the purpose of finding out what feels good. This could begin with slathering yourself in sesame oil right out of the shower. Maybe include some breast massage (Liz DiAlto has a great primer here) or hip circles or just placing your hand over yourself and breathing into the space. Then see where it all takes you.

Learn to Love your Moontime

It’s so easy to hate on your period: it can be painful, weird, messy. You feel kinda fat, your boobs hurt and there’s still all that residual “What, are you on the rag or something?” idiocy.

My cycle has always been a huge source of agony for me, and as I’ve grown familiar with my cycle and how powerful the time of the month can be, I wanted to be friends with it.

First, I started referring to my menses (bleeding time) as my “moon time.” I first heard this in Costa Rica and it’s so much more mystical sounding than “period.” Say it with me: moontime. You priestess, you.

To cope with my irregular cycles and get them synced up with the new moon, I place my hand on my belly and whisper “You are so welcome here.” Instead of avoiding or dreading this time, I make an active effort to be welcoming. And when I do bleed? I say “yay!” outloud and thank my body. Yes, it sometime feels like I’m treating my uterus like a two year-old, but it’s my own mind that I’m changing.

Now this is more recent: I read an article about how making noise during sex sends a signal to your brain, increasing your capacity for pleasure. So when you make noise, you actually experience MORE pleasure.

So making some sexy noises when experiencing cramps must have the same effect, right?


When I’m alone and out of earshot, you can find me pulling a Meg Ryan as I moan, sigh and groan theatrically through my cramps. To the point of being silly and making myself laugh. And it totally helps.

So start there: remember to have fun–it’s like making a new friend. The coolest, most fun, superwoman friend.

Some of my favorite pro-pussy (I said it.) women that I follow:

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