Shadow Play on Sunny Days.

loveletter.jpg

Dear You:

I love you.

I love you when you are sad. I love you when you worry about money. I love you when you question your Path and I love you when you’re insecure about the work you put in the world.

I love you when you need to rest. I love you when you think you’re resting but you’re not.

I love you when you know you should rest but go to the gym anyway and now you’re sadder and more tired and your knee hurts more, too.

I love you when you wish it were less sunny. I love you when all you want to do is pour all the chocolate-covered cashews in existence into your mouth and die that way.

I love you when your boobs hurt, and when you’re frustrated with your body. I love you when you want out of your relationship, and I love you when you want to get shit-faced and fuck a stranger. I love you when you think you are undeserving of love.

I love you when you want to pick up and move across the country. Again.

I love you when you’re restless, when you’re anxious. I love you when you’re hangry but refuse to eat anything because you kind of like being bitchy and sulky and mad.

I love you when you feel like an asshole, and when you don’t want to be comforted with kisses or hugs or texts or anything. I love love love when you are a hermit, and when you pop in earbuds and put on big sunglasses so you can ignore everyone even when they’re trying to be nice and do their jobs.

I love you when you don’t meditate, and when you fall asleep while you meditate and insist that it still counts. I love you when you don’t feel connected to Spirit or your magic or anyone and don’t really care right now.

I love you when you want to take a bath but don’t want to clean the tub. I love you when you cry in the middle of the floor instead.

I love you when you retreat up to that fortified tower you thought you had destroyed a million times. I will love you when you climb down again out of the window by rope or a braid of hair or whatever the hell that Princess used. Or maybe it was the Prince. Or the Witch.

I love you when you want to start intermittent fasting, but you’re hungry so you don’t.

I love you when your body hurts, and when you’d rather take the bus than bike.

I love you when you feel ashamed and insecure and when you don’t feel good enough.

I love you when you’re jealous of powerful people. I love when you think everything is dumb. I love you when you hate your friends. I love you when you hate everyone.

I especially love you when you’re angry. I love you when you want to scream at the top of your lungs and call people names for cutting you off in traffic. I love you for shouting back at drivers who tell you to get out of the street. I love you when you want to take out your earrings to fight.

I love all parts of you, Sweetness. Especially the hurt ones. When you’re ready to come back, I’ll love you then, too.


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